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Monday, November 21, 2022

This Is Monday 🌘 People Gotta Eat or They Gonna Be Eaten



Behold!
The formidable short flighted turkey! Descended from the mighty theropods, within him lies their ultimate fate! In the days before Man, the dinosaurs ruled the earth! And they razed the wilderness with one swing of their sorcerous swords and destroyed Atlantis and Mu 'neath their sandaled feet! They laughed as they unleashed their fiery breath upon Ys and their laser vision upon Lemuria! Whoosh! Pew pew! Crackle!

"My name is Meleagris gallopavo, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" ~ Sum Ded Pote

And lo, then the Lords of the Earth tired, their prodigious balls sagging low to erase entire soccer stadiums with each staggering step, their saurian eyes droopy because it's past nap time! Stomp! Drag! Stomp! Drag!

And They shedded their vasty tentacles as they trod their way north! North! Whence they once came and to where they did return, trusting in the guidance of their behemoth, jewel-encrusted fiery members! Like lodestones, they always point, painfully, to perfect North!  Crackle! Sproing!

And They slumber there still. Until the day they shall be awakened by the One True Heir! Gabba Gabba hey!

And They will rise again! So it is written! Some say it has already begun! With the unremarkable death of a single human, the reign of the dinosaur begins anew!

A motorcyclist from Junction City crashed and died after being hit by a wild turkey in Central Oregon on Sunday morning.

Oregon State Police identified the victim as 55-year-old Vanesa Gunther.

The investigation found Gunther was southbound on Highway 97 near Moro "when a wild turkey collided with her after flying into a northbound commercial motor vehicle," state police report. "After being struck by the turkey, Gunther traveled across the northbound lane and collided with a guardrail."

Gunther died at the scene.

The crash closed the northbound lane of Hwy 97 for several hours as state police investigated with the help of Sherman County Sheriff's Office, North Sherman Fire, Moro Fire and Rescue and the Oregon DOT.

The Sheriff's office states the turkey was working alone. (or so they would have you believe)

~ KVAL 13, a CBS affiliate. Monday, July 22, 2019. Moro, Oregon

You can always tell it's a creature/disaster flick when the experts, whether they are right or wrong, are almost always annoying, those eggheads. Usually wrong too, unless they're the square-jawed, manly, scientist hero who eventually finds a way. Mrs Bundy, an ornithologist, was especially odious in The Birds (1963). Tippi Hedren, Lonny Chapman, Ethel Griffies.

My way of saying "I got nothing." I should have made an OT days ago so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning when thoughts billiard ball around my empty skull. I should also proofread but what the hell. Hope you've got something. Lay it on me, whether it's about TGiving or not.

THE TOPIC, should you choose to engage: THE WORST RESTAURANT MEAL YOU EVER ATE. The gorier the details the better.



 


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