THURSDAY NIGHT OT SORRY FOR YELLING AND I HOPE OWYAC IS OK

 AITA?

A few things you should know about me. I’m 64 and white and I live in a city starting with L, I don’t want to saywhere exactly, you understnad. People have said I look a little like that Brandon Gleesin actor but I don’t see it. I mind my own business and don’t cause trouble normally. Then on Sunday when I got home I was looking forsard to the last four cheese hot pocket in the icebox. Lo, the last one was eaten by my dumbass roommate who I shall call Carl from hereon. I did ask him politely to purchase another box fothwith but he would not because he broke, he claim. My mood did plummet and I grabbed the tiles which was near at hand and flanged them at him in justifiable wrath I should think. Can y0ou believe he start throwing them back it me and taking’ shots at my face with his fist? And his other fist. Both fists. Last punch hurt alot so I go to get my gun an scare the lard ass f***er. When he run off I take a shot I do at the ebigeest part of him and hit him once. I say, again justifiable, “Youeat my last hot pocket, Ronny, how about you eaten’ gome Hot LEAD in your BACK Pocket?” I might of sweared a bit more but theers ladies presence. Probably. Hi laduys. 

Would you bleivee I got arrested and bonded like 7500 bucks? Sh*******it. 

So BTV? AITA?

Sincerely,

Louisville Slugger

*adapted from this stupid stupid story out of Louisville, KY that's been in the newscycle for the past few days. I have to say it's a relief to turn spellcheck off, it gives the post a bit of a mimetic quality no? - https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/kentucky-man-accused-shooting-roommate-eating-last-hot-pocket-rcna85930 ~ SQRL, who was never really here