IT IS WEDNESDAY AND IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP AND CHAT

I went a few weeks without a phone. It was glorious. Now I have a new cell, same as the old cell, and have to figure out how to turn off amber alerts which always go off in the middle of the night, usually about some white minivan in Rockford or Carbondale or some other location 50+ miles away. Alerts are important, sure, but I only have so much time for super heroics during my waking hours. I'm just not changing back into my tights, cape and cowl, again. I've already had my Ovaltine. Sorry.

2024 Motorola razor

Spouse bought a bulky phone case for it so it no longer fits it into my back pocket. To ensure it can't fall out while biking like last time I suppose. I feel slightly affronted, like an infant with mittens fitted over his hands before sleep so he doesn't scratch his face while sleeping.

Just as well since all my jeans now have identical holes in the back pocket from the corner of the phone. Looks like I've been shot in the ass, and that's what I tell people anyway. The only detail that changes is the object in my pocket which deflected the bullet. 

Which is coolest? A zippo, dad's pocket watch, a flask, or a kevlar-covered bible?

Anyway, good morning.