Tried to read the comments to all my OT posts from January–May of this year since I'd initially just dumped them and run off to do something else. I only got through January before I gave up. I have no idea what some of those comments mean. I thought for a second Kay Okay had had a baby and was startled. Congratulations, Kay Okay, on your nephew's birth. That is indeed a very large baby.
I skipped around after. I'm sorry about Alice, BC/C. I was wondering how she was handling Flora's arrival and then it hit me. You probably mentioned her passing in some other OT.
I don't remember precisely who said what and when, really, so I'll answer as best as I can in random order:
- I don't know if I've seen the last of the Up documentaries. I do remember some of it fondly but would have to rewatch them. And yes, we were all rooting for Neil.
- That's just cats being cats.
- Yes yes. Tell me again how much you hate to read. But I understand. Reading is a luxury most have trouble finding the time and mental energy to do more of. For me, it's immersive and holistic; the place I'm in at the time, the chair, the ambient noise, the aloneness of it contribute to the experience of reading. Listening to a narrator, who's decided or been directed to make clear what the text means, whilst choring removes a set of stimuli which aid in the recall/recollection of the book. I feel the similarly about e-books.
- For some reason, boys like to say naughty things about “that time of the month.” It’s called locker-room humor or toilet jokes. All I know is, the first time I asked my sister if she was “on the rag,” she beat me with her hairbrush, and I have been shy about it ever since. But like it or not, it’s in the vernacular. Remember, a lot of girls say it too. P.S. Sperm-retention headaches are extremely painful and do cause irritability in most boys. So be nice.*
- Neighbors! Whatcha gonna do? Makes me almost miss the adventures with The Blights. (3X)
- Try putting yourself in her shoes. You have a terrible dog and randy goat, a rifle and a gravel pit. What would Jesus do? Hefty /s right there. Appealing to the god of their death cult. Like, "I would kill for you, most beloved!" That's pretty much toward the end, the mass suicide endgame, of death cults. Fuck em all.
- Ugh neighbors... Can't live with 'em, can't whip 'em like a rented pony... (4X)
- How about sensible gun reform laws, you sick fucks. (≈∞X)
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| WHO?!? Who's the sassiest girl in America? Is it you? |
- I watched it. It was okay. (4+ X)
- @#$%&!!! Dolt 45 (≈∞X)
- Right now, when he talks to you, he’s really just talking to himself. Stars are in his eyes. Later, when he finds out how dumb and self-centered you are, he’ll learn to hate you. It shouldn’t take long. **
- Congratulations on constructing the new shed. Hope it holds up in this wind.
- Congratulations on the new kittens, and I hope you're all happy together. I approve of naming them after a nasty murder ballad. Little Stevie's version, before his lung capacity had even fully formed, reminds me how easily, in light of his early career as child prodigy, he could have just been dismissed as a novelty act. Thank heaven he took control over his own fate though. It's still an amazing rendition by an eleven-year-old:
- I am baffled by this question. Butts are so awesome that obviously the bigger, the better. Any guy who’s not a weirdo will take as much butt as he can get. I don’t know if you’re worried that yours is too big or too small, but it can’t be too big. Whatever it is, just get into it. ***
- And that's a huge criticism of the movie I thought I implied. Sorry I wasn't more clear. I'm sleepy.
- NO. (50+X)
- Thanks to everyone who reassured me that they do indeed read my posts. What I was doing was expressing frustration at myself for being incapable of formulating a thought and turning it into text, and I also noticed a copious repetition of certain overused words in my writing? That the tense keeps changing for some reason? That I keep writing with a verbal uptick? It was kind of you, but to follow the sweet pat on the idiot's head with a comment about "Oops, how I did I miss that question," "Oh man I can't believe I didn't see that," and "I, too am a reader. We all are. ETA: Oh, and my favorite etc..." further downthread? That was priceless. A true
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| The Alan Smithee'd Sassy Kubrick film from 1960, Stracapus |
moment for the ages. I LOL'd. Thanks for that. (FWIW, I only glance or scan most OTs and comments and neurotically hit the upvote too)
- It may seem like an important thing, but for every person whose breasts are not big enough, there is someone whose nose is too big or who’s too tall or too short. Guys become infatuated with something that is not real: the “perfect woman.” The perfect woman is not smart and not stupid; she’s blond and has big breasts and a small waist. I don’t know anybody like that, but I do know plenty of beautiful women. Don’t judge yourself by someone else’s standards. You will always lose.†
- Gross. You eat that? (≈ 2X)
- Go pound sand, Alito.
- I wasn't angry at all. Mild annoyance that you posted a question that I followed in the very next post with the same question, and I therefore had to change mine, even though my question no longer made sense in the context of the post. You can like what you like, and I think you've got pretty good taste. I'm not opposed to differing opinions. Except for Constantine. I still can't figure out why so many of you like that movie. I watched it while I was depressed. After watching it, I was still depressed, but at least I was an hour and a half closer to death.
- True friends are helpful and understanding, not judgmental nags. Tell her as graciously as possible to lay off. ††
- I would never make fun of Chair Yoga. I would sooner attack a struggling puppy. Just assume there's an implied "/s" at the end of every other sentence I type, okay? I'm not here to be serious. I was poking fun at Disqus ads. At least the Meet Single Women from Ukraine ad is gone. Those were depressing.
- They just need a safe place among their people. Unfortunately that place seems to be in private groups on F@#$%^!!book.
- I'm sorry. That's just who I am. Blame my parents or my environment or God. I'll blame it on the time that never was enough, I'll blame it on the tide and the sea. But my heart blames it on me.
Talk about whatever is making you feel sassy.
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* Greg Dulli of Afghan Whigs
** Iggy Pop
*** J Mascis of Dinosaur Jr
† Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins
†† Beck
All footnoted advice is real and from Sassy Magazine's midnineties "Dear Boy" advice column from rockstar boys in answer to young women's letters. Mike D, Dean Ween, Thurston Moore, and more. I only bought it for the articles!
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