Good evening, Balkers. It's been a bloody awful day here, cold and pouring rain, and I've spent most of it wrapped in a blanket and panicking over Xmas. We're starting week 2 of lockdown and no shopping can be done until after the 21st, when lockdown is scheduled to be lifted. I'm already waiting for packages I have ordered online to get here, and am worried about whether they will arrive in time.
On that anxious note, what's the worst present you ever gave? I mean, you might not have meant it to be the worst, but it just worked out that way? I have several examples I can cite for your edification:
(a) I gave a very nice cheese board to someone who had just found out he was lactose intolerant.
(b) I gave my friend Betty and her husband a Kodak instamatic camera as a wedding present, so they would be able to have instant memories. Six months later digital photography was all the rage and that sucker was obsolete with a capital O.
(c) The worst present I ever gave was, oddly enough, also the most successful by far. My friend M was getting married under dubious circumstances - i.e. to keep her boyfriend in the country - and what hung unspoken in the air was the very likely prospect of an amiable divorce a couple of years down the line. I got them a pair of matching coffee mugs that read IF YOU CAN'T EAT IT, DRINK IT, OR FUCK IT, THROW IT AWAY. I freely acknowledge that this was in the worst possible taste but I knew it would appeal to the happy couple's sense of humour and the mugs were really intended as a joke. What I did not expect was that the bride was absolutely over the moon with the gift. I died a little inside as she excitedly showed them to her mother. I died a little more as she made sure they were prominently displayed along with the rest of the wedding presents. And when the not unexpected divorce came to be, the bride got custody of the mugs. As far as I know she has them still.
So what was the worst you gave? Or you got? Let me know in the comments.
No comments:
Post a Comment