Monday 🌒 Pat Yourself on the Back Using Other People's Hands OT

In the spirit of the Oscars, give yourself a round of applause. Take as long as you want. I'll wait.

Anne Baxter in All About Eve. Bette Davis, Marilyn Monroe, and Thelma Ritter are in it too. Directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz, released in 1950.

I'm happy for the winners last night. I do wish other movies and actors got some more or any promotion* instead. Nothing wrong with EEAAO, but it was exactly the kind of wholesome, bland, feel good, safe, slapless narrative that the academy and Disney wanted. Sounds boring. Anyone watch the whole thing? I'm sorry.

Here are the 78th BalkTack Award Winners (The BLAURGHIES):

Best Supporting MeowPurrs: Krispy Porkchops (Gimme Shelters)

Best Cinematography: Agrajag (Two Lips on Sunday: A Wail of a Tale)

Best MeowPurrs: k2b (Brett Butler, Take the Wheel! II: Fall of the Yoyo Empire)

Best BarkWoofs: Hannibal (Whither the Po Valley?)

Best Supporting Commenter: Ghost in the Machine (Worse Things Happen in Space IV: He Who Holds the Talking Stick)

Most Physical Owies: six way tie**

Most Likely to Pause a Movie Halfway: spaced99 (A Hat Named Steve: A Fedora Stora)

Best Pictures of Swiss Countryside: Mimi Krimi (A Tom Called Alice)

Best Snow Blowing in a Short Film: kristinbytes (Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo) 

Best Gaffer: Burly Brian (The Adele Dazeem Story)

Best Health Advice: "M" (Hail Hydration!)

Best of the Worst House Woes - Short Film Animated: OldWomanYellsAtClods (None Dared Call It Energy Efficient) 

Best Rejection of All Accolades: ...

Most Driving in Life, Both Real and Imaginary: CTSenVy (A Dropped Funnel Cake Is a Sign of Rain - short film, The Adopted South Korean Children of the Corn VII)

Most Likely to Cause Confusion Between Rod Serling and Sterling Hayden: Bertolt Brechtiosaurus (Tonked in the Dacha, A Year Since Pigmon)

Best Weaving Like Frickin' Mythological Arachne: HoneySmacks (And Lo! A Grandchild Shall Appear!)

 Special Lifetime Blaurghie: 

C'est La Vie (The Washer Dryer Blues, A Cadillac for Meemaw; Oh You've Got Blue Eyes; A Fairground Corndog Is Just Another Way of Saying I Love You; Like a Dalmatian, Sometimes Justice Arrives Spotted), who is just honored to be recognized by her peers. 

"I guess..." she said. 

In Memoriam:

Kurt Cameron's Empty Sack, General Smedley the Musical, Once Was an Inca..., Fell Norman, ThunderKate Ho!, Second Cousin R.O.A.C.H., Militant Berle's Jock, Plus 3 Vorpal Scissors, Pop Smear, Mom's Macaroni Penguin and Cheese, get off the potato, smellex, Windfallen Froot, The Jimi Swaggart Experience, and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 2.0.

RIP, sweet princes, princesses, and other.

~ SQRL, director of Honey, I Shrunk the Ketchup; The Mason Jar King of Sioux Falls; They Saved Hitler's Garden Trowel!; and Tubthumping with Jesus.

***

Talk about whatever. If you can think of something you do that goes unrecognized or under appreciated, tell us all about it. And please pick up your award after the show.

* Women Talking should have been a bigger part of the discussion. No, wait, #MeToo was what, fifty years ago now. At least some of the actors from The Woman King? Till? Aftersun? No Bears? etc... I haven't seen the Marvel movie so can't speak to Angela Bassett's role in it, but I feel she should be discussed (and hated) the same way Cate "Does she even need another Oscar" Blanchett is.  For that matter, I liked The Banshees of Inisherin very much, but I preferred Colin Farrell's performance in After Yang, a better movie. Where are the 100s of worthwhile movies from Africa, South America, Asia? Oscars So Goofy.

** You know who you are. Sorry for anyone I've forgotten or didn't get around to. Making up and typing stupid shit takes its toll almost as much as reading it.